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"From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life. |
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When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest." - William Hazlitt |
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What happens to a dream deferred? / Does it dry up / like a raisin in the sun?" - Langston Hughes |
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Boinc.Aqstats.com needs to update more then once a year. Thats my thought for the day :)
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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Remember: A collision at sea can ruin your entire day.
b.
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Member of The UK BOINC Team.
Join us here
 http://www.tiny.cc/UBT
http://bobtonson.page-visit.com
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"Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good." - Friedrich Nietzsche |
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The more knowledge you know, the more you know you don't know :P
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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"In practicing (music) . . . whether we can attain it or not, our goal should be perfection." ~ Arthur Foote, American organist
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These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." - Thomas Paine
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The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages." - Virginia Woolf |
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"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try" - Homer J Simpson
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Feed the world's hungry: Free Rice
Help PrimeGrid keep Crunching
PrimeGrid on Flickr |
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"The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow." ~ H.G. Wells |
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Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer |
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Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.
George Washington
First president of US (1732 - 1799) |
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"A belief which leaves no place for doubt is not a belief; it is a superstition." - Jose Bergamin
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A moment's insight is sometimes worth a lifetime's experience.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
US jurist (1841 - 1935)
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Confucius
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Thought for Today: "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." — John Barth, American author |
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To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.
Joseph Chilton Pearce
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"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance" General John Sedgwick (the last words thereof) see eg http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A370531 |
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The greatest tragedy is indifference." |
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Das Leben ist wie ein Kinderhemd, kurz und beschissen. |
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"It is only rock and roll but I like it." Jagger/Richards |
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Knowledge tells you that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom tells you not to put tomatoes in your fruit salad.
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Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan
US lawyer, orator, & politician (1860 - 1925)
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Mit der Dummheit kaempfen Goetter selbst vergebens. Schiller |
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"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible."
PJ O'Rourke |
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"In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...
I must put a roof on this lavatory."
Les Dawson. |
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"If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."
Dave Allen
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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. |
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"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
Emo Philips |
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"Some days you are the pigeon; some days you are the statue." David Brent |
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. |
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" " Marcel Marceau |
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Do you want fries with that? |
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''A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.'' Zsa Zsa Gabor
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"I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?" Homer Simpson |
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"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'" Dorothy Parker |
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"If love is blind and God is love..Is Stevie Wonder God ? ..." a proposed Turing Test question
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Feed the world's hungry: Free Rice
Help PrimeGrid keep Crunching
PrimeGrid on Flickr |
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"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'" Charles M Schulz |
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Thank the deity of your choice it is Friday. |
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"Work is the curse of the drinking classes. " Oscar Wilde |
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"Don't panic, DON'T PANIC." Corporal Jones "Dad's Army" (BBC comedy) |
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"I don't take myself seriously any more. Sometimes I just garden in my knickers and platform shoes."
Kim Wilde |
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"Womp-bomp-a-loom-op-a-womp-bam-boom!" Little Richard |
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"Age is just a number. It is totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine." Joan Collins |
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." Terry Pratchett |
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"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." Emo Philips |
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"Don't have a cow, man." Bart Simpson
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"Anonymous Donor, Krazy KenzieB, Woody, Benva & Warped = pretty darned cool chap(ette)s. Good kharma to you my friends." Tim |
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“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.†Benny Hill |
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"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' " Tim Vine
Tim <Bows down> We are not worthy </Bows Down>
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"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel." Homer J Simpson |
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"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain |
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"Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?" Peter Kay |
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"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living."
Terry Pratchett |
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"If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation." David Brent |
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“Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?†- Debi Newberry in Grosse Point Blank
Probably taken from the Bard’s Merchant of Venice:
“Tell me where is fancy bred,
Or in the heart or in the head?â€
____________
Feed the world's hungry: Free Rice
Help PrimeGrid keep Crunching
PrimeGrid on Flickr |
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"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." Groucho Marx |
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Do or do not, there is no try. ~ Yoda
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"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." - Homer Simpson
____________
Feed the world's hungry: Free Rice
Help PrimeGrid keep Crunching
PrimeGrid on Flickr |
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"Have you ever seen a better day?" Betty Thatcher (ex The Winter Tree) |
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"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman. |
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"Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, March 1949 |
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It is better out than in. |
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Vote early. Vote often. |
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"Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability."
David Brent |
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"Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it." Lyndon B Johnson |
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"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."
Clinton's advisor in interview with Larry King (http://www.fandm.edu/x3989.xml) |
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"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough." Les Dawson |
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"Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." |
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"Passer pour un idiot aux yeux d'un imbecile est une volupte de fin gourmet" Georges Courteline |
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"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that."
Homer Simpson |
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"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
Scott Adams |
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"You've got to vote for someone. It's a shame, but it's got to be done."
Whoopi Goldberg |
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"I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
Buzz Aldrin |
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"Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker."
Ogden Nash |
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"Someone's boring me. I think it's me."
Dylan Thomas |
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Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself, can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper, and the loss of self-control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own. Better give your path to a dog, than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite." - Abraham Lincoln
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"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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If you are able to state a problem, it can be solved." |
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/3371844/Sign-language-week-23.html?image=4 |
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The most important political office is that of the private citizen |
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"I think we agree, the past is over." George W Bush |
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"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." George W Bush |
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"I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around"
Pete Townshend |
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"Find your souls and set them free. "
ex Green Grass And High Tides The Outlaws |
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"Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird."
Cheap Trick ex Surrender and my 13 year old daughter.
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I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you at this time of year. It was to me.
The imagery, the phrasing, it is truly magnificent.
Enjoy!
'WINTER'
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
**** me sideways
It's cold.
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"if you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it." Captain Jack Sparrow |
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"Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone." - Charles de Gaulle
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"I love Thanksgiving turkey; it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."
Arnold Schwarzenegger |
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"If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked."
David Brent |
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 DoES Volunteer tester
Send message
Joined: 11 Oct 08
Posts: 784
ID: 30382
Credit: 74,878,735
RAC: 0
             
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Be nice to your enemies -- It scares the hell out of them
Various |
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"Somewhere there's a harbour
'Though we pass her by
Where our ship can be and safely lie
In the warmth of her arms
Inside a perfect day
"And with each passing moment
We wait to sail away"
Betty Thatcher "Opening Out" |
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"Nothing ventured, nothing gained"
"Silence is golden"
"There is never enough time"
-Stargate SG1
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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If you can't handle the roads, don't go out there.
- Portland, Oregon Department of Transportation, during the worst snow/ice storm in 40 years (still in progress) (12" at my house, whereas we usually get 2" in a year).
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If the earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. NORMAN R AUGUSTINE (1935-)
ex BBC.co.uk
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Goodbye old Muffin, http://tinyurl.com/77dq5m , who died today.
A most splendid rat who alas will no more catch my eye and then jump on the head of a bypasser or nip an ear lobe and then laugh at the confusion she caused. |
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DoESVolunteer tester
Send message
Joined: 11 Oct 08
Posts: 784
ID: 30382
Credit: 74,878,735
RAC: 0
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Goodbye old Muffin, http://tinyurl.com/77dq5m , who died today.
A most splendid rat who alas will no more catch my eye and then jump on the head of a bypasser or nip an ear lobe and then laugh at the confusion she caused.
It is with deep regret we must announce the passing of Muffin (a most splendid rat)-- A requiem mass was held at the Not All Saints Church Bamaga on Sunday the 11/1/09-- A wake was held after the service (at my place) where Muffin was delivered (perhaps even washed) into the after life with numerous cartons of beer--- |
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"You never want an Australian with his back against the wall. You put any 12 blokes together and you'll get a job done. Whether it's getting a bogged four-wheel-drive off the beach or standing in front of a cricket wicket and making sure we're in a dominant position. It's the same dog, different leg action, so to speak" Matthew Hayden
DoES, thanks for you and your 11 mates work in seeing old Muff off, ya blood's worth bottling.
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How does GoogleAds know that I am single and female (always getting dating site ads on my pages) yet it does not know that this site is about finding prime numbers (I also get prime rate mortgage ads)?
____________
Feed the world's hungry: Free Rice
Help PrimeGrid keep Crunching
PrimeGrid on Flickr |
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Lol I always get the ad for Cafe for mom's lol, only women allowed chat room. I do find the ad's hilarious.
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow |
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Goodbye old Muffin, http://tinyurl.com/77dq5m , who died today.
A most splendid rat who alas will no more catch my eye and then jump on the head of a bypasser or nip an ear lobe and then laugh at the confusion she caused.
It is with deep regret we must announce the passing of Muffin (a most splendid rat)-- A requiem mass was held at the Not All Saints Church Bamaga on Sunday the 11/1/09-- A wake was held after the service (at my place) where Muffin was delivered (perhaps even washed) into the after life with numerous cartons of beer---
Sincere condolences!
You drink your beer from cartons? Doesn't it go flat? |
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Yeah, I could never understand that Milk in Bag's thing in Canada, but meh, the world still turns.
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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DoES is big enough to speak for himself but when he talks about a carton of beer he is probably talking about what is also known as a slab which is to say 24 cans.
And thanks, folks, for keeping the memory of that fierce, funny, bad, loving, old rat alive.
You had to be there. I am glad I was. |
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DoESVolunteer tester
Send message
Joined: 11 Oct 08
Posts: 784
ID: 30382
Credit: 74,878,735
RAC: 0
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Yeah, I could never understand that Milk in Bag's thing in Canada, but meh, the world still turns.
Some enlightenment on Aussie beer drinking is required here I see--
Beer is sold in 375ml cans, 375ml bottles (stubbies) and 750ml Bottles (tallies) (pronounced tall--eze) though not seen much now-- Some southern states also have 250ml bottles called "thro--downs" (not seen in the North of Oz)
Buying individual bottles & cans is only done is you are drinking at a pub (hotel) -- Buying beer to take home or to go to a party (or wake for rodents) you purchase a carton (cardboard box) which is 24 x 375ml cans or bottles-- a carton of cans is called a 'slab'-- a carton of stubbies (bottles) is called a 'box' -- inside the slab or box the beer is grouped into lots of 6 by plastic wrappers -- hence the term "6-pack" -- if you are not much of a drinker you can buy a 6-pack to go to a party--- This leads us to the famous Australian 7 course dinner--- 6-pack & a meat pie---
To further confuse the rest of the planet-- beer is divided further into 3 groups-- "heavies" 4% to 5% alcohol content-- "Mids" 3% to 4%--- "lite" under 3%--
I will apologise in advance for the term--- beer in Oz (except in very polite company) is called "piss"----- So if you are travelling on a hot & dusty journey with an Aussie and you say " betta pull up at the next pub en' I'll gettus a slab a' piss"--- We will know exactly what you are talking about--- In this case don't worry about "Heavies or Mids etc" we will drink whatever you buy---
One other thing-- beer in Australia is not considered fit for human consumption unless it it is chilled to less than 10c
DoES
____________
Member of AtP
Shown here is an Australian native rat (Ratus Kickarsus) |
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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde
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America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike |
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"Everybody's friend is nobody's." - Arthur Schopenhauer |
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"Don't tell your friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you." - Logan Pearsall Smith |
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. ERMA BOMBECK |
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I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker |
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“Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.â€
Albert Einstein
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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On first looking into Chapman's Homer
Much have I travell'd in the realms of gold,
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That deep-brow'd Homer ruled as his demesne:
Yet did I never breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like stout Cortez, when with eagle eyes
He stared at the Pacific—and all his men
Look'd at each other with a wild surmise—
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.
John Keats
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Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash |
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields |
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Monday, bloody Monday. |
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Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
Oscar Wilde |
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The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." |
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Her jeans were so tight I could hardly breath
Benny Hill |
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eeeeee*
Aggie The Pew
*It is in rat. There is a rat-english dictionary here: http://www.ratbehavior.org/RatEnglishDictionary.htm |
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http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o97/the_viffer/?action=view¤t=bill.jpg |
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Geckos' grip is triggered by gravity rather than the surface they are on researchers have found. Gecko toes have tiny hairs called satae which only work at an angle. At 10 deg half the satae engage and at 30 deg all of them do. Increased traction however reduces top speed.
A P Russell and T E Higham Proc. R. Soc. B published online before print August 5, 2009, doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.0946
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Some oxymorons:
Adult female
American English
Australian culture
Attentive husband
British fashion
Business ethics
Civil engineer
Civil war
Committee decision
Common sense
Computer jock
More to follow another time. Apologies if I miss out on offending someone; let me know and I'll see what I can do!
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Computer security
Criminal justice
Disposable income
Domestic bliss
Educational TV
English summer
European Community
Even odds
Federal budget
Female logic
Free love
Funky white guy
Government intelligence
Great Britain
Great War
Happily married
Head butt
Internet security |
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Job security
Liberal thinker
Local celebrity
Microsoft Works
Moral majority
New and improved
Nuclear defence
Police protection
Political leadership
Quick reboot
Religious tolerance
Software documentation
Teenage logic
Temporary tax increase
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I never knew what happiness was until I got married.
(Then it was too late.)
PS More oxymorons to follow. Will you lose the will to live before I run out of oxymorons? See next week's exciting episode to find out... |
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http://humour.200ok.com.au/mvsf_whatshewants.html |
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There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Steve Martin. |
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The other shoe finally hits the floor; the last of my current round of oxymorons
Unbiased opinion
Union worker
United Nations
Voting power
War games
Wedded bliss
We're alone
Whole portion
Woman's logic
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I never knew what happiness was until I got married.
Then it was too late....
ROFL that one was good my friend, thats why when I said your wife was nice you said "well you haven't seen her yet so meh nice isn't the word I'd use :)" I was like whoa well, then you better hope the kids get your genes not hers :P Yes yes were both evil right lol.
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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Yep. My wife and I had words about that comment. But I didn't get to use mine. |
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Yep. My wife and I had words about that comment. But I didn't get to use mine.
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
Socrates"
You know I was kidding my friend :P and as so in the PM you sent it was good to hear from you again bro. Tell your wife I will give her a big hug and a flower or chocolates when I get to see her next :)
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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It is only in romances that people undergo a sudden metamorphosis. In real life, even after the most terrible experiences, the main character remains exactly the same." - Isadora Duncan |
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The secret of a happy marriage:
Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies.
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And if you suspect something, get a P.I. to go snooping around and get it on tap!
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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Errrm in my case not a good plan. John 8:7 springs to mind. |
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It is better out than in. |
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Nous n'essaierons pas de donner au lecteur une idée de ce nez tétraèdre, de cette bouche en fer à cheval, de ce petit œil gauche obstrué d'un sourcil roux en broussailles tandis que l’œil droit disparaissait entièrement sous une énorme verrue, de ces dents désordonnées, ébréchées çà et là , comme les créneaux d'une forteresse, de cette lèvre calleuse sur laquelle une de ces dents empiétait comme la défense d'un éléphant, de ce menton fourchu, et surtout de la physionomie répandue sur tout cela, de ce mélange de malice, d'étonnement et de tristesse.
Victor Hugo |
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Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. |
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Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. Homer Simpson |
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I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.- Les Dawson |
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There are three types of people, those who can add up and those that can't |
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There are 10 kinds of people; those who can count in ternary, those who can't and those who confuse it for binary. |
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I've got a luvverly bunch of coccernuts. - Fred Heatherton |
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666 Number of the beast
668 Neighbour of the beast
DCLXVI Number of the Roman beast
666.0000 Number of the high-precision beast
0.666 Number of the millibeast
666i Number of the imaginary beast
1010011010 Number of the binary beast
29A Number of the hex beast
£665.99 Retail price of the beast
£333.00 After-Christmas sale price of the beast
Route 666 Way of the beast
666 UP Soft drink of the beast
666 mg Recommended minimum daily requirement of the beast
999 Number of the Australian beast
WD-666 Spray lubricant of the beast
66.6 MHz FM radio station of the beast
Chanel No. 666 Perfume of the beast
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I got a letter from the Origami Association. I didn't know what to make of it. |
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I got a letter from the Origami Association. I was surprised; I thought they folded. |
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Origami is the art of the fold. I am the fart of the old. |
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The record companies would have us believe that the money made by pirates goes to fund the illegal drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. |
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If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN. |
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Carpe diem.- Horace |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBLeVcP_JQg |
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NO good deed ever goes unpunished.
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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"We are not worthy"
Yours has got to count as one of the the great thoughts for the day. I wish I had thought of it but reassure myself with the thought that I probably will.
Vermin say "hi".
Cheers!
T |
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"A Prime a Day Keeps the Illiteracy at Bay"
/Wave's to Tim, Cheers mate!
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams |
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The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch |
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Bro goth agan tasow |
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Slà inte Mhath! |
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I know a farmer who looks after the farm.
With water clear, he cares for all his harvest.
I know a fireman who looks after the fire.
Banks et al. |
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"Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there." Scott Adams |
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"You live and learn. At any rate, you live." - Douglas Adams
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Women! |
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http://i34.tinypic.com/1zf0oy9.jpg |
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“The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers†-Bill Gates
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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"640k is enough for anyone" - bill Gates |
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"100% of the shots you don't take don't go in". - Wayne Gretzky |
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À coeur vaillant rien d'impossible. |
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"I think people don't place a high enough value on how much they are nurtured by doing whatever it is that totally absorbs them." - Jean Shinoda Bolen
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
attributed to Groucho Marx |
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"Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today when they p****d me off."
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken |
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Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me? - Homer J Simpson |
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"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." Groucho Marx |
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I have been able to count in hex since I was A. |
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If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
John Cleese |
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"And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold." Krusty The Clown, The Simpsons |
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"When One made love to Zero, spheres embraced their arches and prime numbers caught their breath" Raymond Queneau mid-20th century poetry
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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Prime numbers are like my wife. You might think they are logical but actually they are really random. |
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He speaks the truth :)
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited - Groucho Marx |
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
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Time flies like an arrow. Time spiders like a spear. |
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Lest we forget. |
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I have had a perfect day.
But it is not this one. |
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Quartz glyph job vex'd cwm finks. |
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Or as they say in Polish (as I understand): Pójdźże, kiń tę chmurność w głąb flaszy! |
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This Pangram contains four as, one b, two cs, one d, thirty es, six fs, five gs, seven hs, eleven is, one j, one k, two ls, two ms, eighteen ns, fifteen os, two ps, one q, five rs, twenty-seven ss, eighteen ts, two us, seven vs, eight ws, two xs, three ys, & one z. |
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Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids. Homer Simpson |
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If I had a penny for every time someone said I have obsessive-compulsive disorder I'd have 693858 pence. |
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* Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
* Witness: "Not yet."
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*Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.*
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John M. Johnson "Novex" |
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My wife has the same opinion of Christmas as she has about sex.
"Well, that's that over with for another year." |
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What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. |
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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth |
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Nah guvnor I don't go sarf ov the rifver.
w00t!!!
Got my car back from the garage after 6 weeks and a shed load of money. Here is a picture of a slightly later version http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b5/Hackney_carriage.jpg
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http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o97/the_viffer/?action=view¤t=me.jpg |
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Bah! Humbug.
Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens |
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I gave up fast women, slow horses and cheap whisky.
Worst five minutes of my life. |
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"...l'enfer, c'est les autres..."
J P Sartre, Huis Clos |
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"It is a funny thing tho your side always gets beaten whichever skool you are at. That is like life i supose." (sic) Nigel Molesworth in How to be Topp: A Guide to Sukcess for Tiny Pupils, Including All There is to Kno about Space by Geoffrey Willans |
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx |
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